Friendship - Loss or Gain?

Recently TOI published an article based on a research that was conducted with school kids and they found that children in the age group of 10 – 14 years value friendship a lot and that they considered losing a friend as a greatest loss. I thought - Wow! Is this something that nobody knew and Was it really necessary to conduct a research to prove this point?

Well,as soon as I read that article – I went into flashback mode and tried to recall an incident that happened when I was 12 years old. I considered VR to be my best friend. We studied in the same class and both of us were bright kids (I say that because we used be among the first 5 in our classes). The friendship started when we were 10 years old and became strong by the time we were 12 years. We ate, played and sometimes went home together.Our friendship was pretty strong till mid term exams.

I still remember that day. It was PT Class and while we were playing some games I happened to pass the ball to some other girl and didn’t give preference to VR. I didn’t think of the consequences while playing, but could clearly make out that my best friend was not too happy. In the evening after the classes, when I went to her enthusiastically to speak, she turned her face away and stopped talking to me.

It was the most hurting moment for me. I still remember how much I cried and said sorry many times, and cursed myself for not passing the ball to her. I had never felt so bad and had never cried so much in my entire life. I was totally shattered and everyone in the class came to know of this. Many of them tried to sort out things between us, but it was all in vain. She was very adamant and thought of punishing me by breaking off our friendship. My head and heart were thinking in two different directions and I didn’t know how to patch-up. So that was the end of our friendship. I considered that to be a great loss.

After class 7 we joined the same school for class 8 onwards and studied in the same school for 5 years. There were some instances where we had come face to face, but this time it was my chance to turn away. After all how could I forgive someone who had hurt me so much!

I don’t know whether it was such a big thing, that I had to write it in my blog, but somehow this incident is permanently stored in my brain. It’s been a long time now and now I feel how much immaturely we behaved.

Now, I have been blessed with some very good friends – I can rely on them for everything and I can speak about anything with them, without bothering about the consequences. I am very happy I have a few but really trustworthy friends!!

Corporate Ladder

As you move up in corporate ladder, a lot of changes take place in you as well as your responsibilities.

# Your day-to-day responsibilities goes down but your year-to-year responsibilities go up.You are looked down upon as a person who will provide long term direction to business.

# You are more accountable and less responsible
More accountable for your team, their performance and cumulative business. Less responsible as you are not involved in day-to-day stuff.

# Soft skills are of prime importance to handle subordiantes and get them motivated to do things efficiently.That’s where a management degree would help, but for a person with right attitude, skill and knowledge this would hardly matter.

# Physical stress vs mental stress
Physical stress decreases, but mental stress increases.

These are some of the changes that I have observed. Are there any other changes?

Mini Wedding

Its been a while, since I’ve moved to Bangalore…oops Bengaluru. The advantage of staying here is close proximity to relative’s place and getting invited for each and every function that happens at anyone’s place. In about 2 months time, we’ve got an opportunity to attend atleast 4-5 such functions – naming ceremony, cradle ceremony, small puja, lunch party, engagements, weddings and more. I am not pro attending such events as most of the conversations revolve around common topics – gossip, boasting of their children’s achievements, foreign trips, money spending power. But the advantage is you can catch up with a lot of people at one place and get updated about a lot of things.

Recently,I got to attend an engagement party that was almost like a wedding reception. There were atleast 300 people who attended the event and most of them seem to be proudly showing off their valuable assets – hitech gadgets, cars, clothes, shoes, bouquets etc. I could over hear people talking about many things with appreciation - guy's sherwani worth 10K, diamond earrings, studded slippers, sarees bought at x,y,z place etc. This made me wonder again – Are our Indian weddings are based on pomp and show? The more money spent, the better. . There are many people who barely earn enough to have 2 proper meals a day and there are others who blow up so much money for a small function - what do they achieve by doing this?
I can never understand this logic

I remembered a friend’s wedding that I attended in Amsterdam,Europe. It was so much different and I thoroughly enjoyed being a part of the ceremony.. Nancy and Paul - I'm remembering you guys and hope to meet up sometime in the future.

It happens only in India

On 16th March 2010, I read about the grand opening of a mall in Mantri Square Malleshwaram. I had heard about this for a while and wanted to see the place. I was more interested in visiting Spar hypermarket, which claimed to have opened the biggest hypermarket in South India. The biggest hypermarket I have visited till date in India is Shop rite at Nirmal Lifestyle Mulund and Hypermarket at Hyper city Malad. These are the best markets I have visited in Mumbai. I expected something similar or better, but was disappointed as soon as I entered the market. The entrance was rather small and congested with people who were unable to decide whether to go in or not and finally we managed to find our way inside the shop and shop for a few things. The eating counter was located right at the centre of the shop and this was a little inconvenient for people moving with filled trolleys, as they had to squeeze in the middle of hungry people.

I didn’t expect so many people to be present at that place and it was over crowded by Bangalore standards. I had not seen so many people in any other super market – be it Spar at koramangala, Big Bazaar or even Reliance mart. By the time I finished my small shopping – it was closing time and just as I removed my stuff before the counter, the person told me there was a problem with the system and he wasn’t able to bill in my stuff. I had to put back all my paraphernalia and carry to another counter. The person seemed to be a little irritated after a hectic day’s schedule and seemed to be in a great hurry to punch in the details and carelessly packed the things I had purchased.

The whole experience was draining and I swore to think twice before going there again. We reached home and then my dad was casually going through the bill, he found that the cashier had forgot to punch in the bill for 2-3 items I had purchased and had blindly packed them for us without charging us the amount. Probably the guy at the counter was exhausted and in a hurry to pack-up. I considered it as an inaugural gift and kept it for myself.

As I was chatting over this experience with a colleague, he mentioned to me that such things are very common in super markets even on normal days. Some items don’t have a bar code on them and hence doesn’t beep when an unbilled item is taken out. Lot of people take advantage of this and someone managed to sneak away with a LCD TV worth 1.5 lacs, when the systems crashed during peak shopping hours and while manual billing was being done, the guy coolly walked away without paying even in a penny…. Guess what? The company realized this after 6 months during stock checking and then traced out the person.

Waow! It happens only in India!!

Principles of my life

Some of the principles I follow in my life:

Dont hurt someone as far as possible.
Spend quality time with people you love.
Have an aim or ambition in life and believe in it. Work towards achieving it.
Look after your health. Its important to eat right - in quality and quantity.
Make a few, but good and trustworthy friends.
Read lot of books and remember one key point from every book.
If you cannot be a part of the progress, donot be a hindrance to the progress.
Speak only if required and think twice before speaking.
Be honest to your employer and be punctual.
Dont take work home.

Flash back 2009

Year 2009 zipped off really fast. Its hard to believe that one more year has passed off. It was a memorable year and some things I remember are listed below
Jan - went on a trip for 3-4 days to Pune and visited mini Tirupati temple on Satara road
Feb - Trip to Shirdi and Nasik with parents
March - busy with work
April - Trip to Singapore (wish i had time to do more shopping) and Baby shower ceremony at home.
May and June - enjoyed at home and work, countdown had begun.
July 8th 2009 - arrival of Aditi at Hiranandani hospital.
Aug till Oct - Spent good time with Aditi in Mumbai.
Oct and Nov - Came to Bdvt.Naming ceremony and Diwali celebrations with BKV.
Dec - Spent 2 weeks in Mumbai. Aditi's first flight experience and her "special" attachment to Bangalore airport.

Around the world...

Just about a week back, someone asked me how many countries have you visited till date?
It was only after that I started counting and here I list them all in order.
Jan 2004, Bangkok- This was my first visit abroad and whats amazing abt this is that long back, maybe 10 years ago, I met mom's friend who apparently saw me for the first time that in Jan 2004, I will travel out of India for the first time and that I should remember her words when it actually happens.....It was only when I was waiting to board, that I suddenly remembered her words and till date, I keep wondering how accurately she had told me abt the first trip.
Oct 2005 - First trip to Europe, Amsterdam. Same time halted in Zurich, Switzerland for a brief period.
March 2006 - Amsterdam, Hilversum, Naarden, Netherlands
April 2006 - Paris, France
May 2006 - Bangkok, Thailand
Oct 2006 - Antwerpen, Belgium
Nov 2006 - Cologne, Germany
Jan 2007 - Liverpool, Manchester, London, UK
Feb 2007 - Barcelona, Spain
May 2007 - Berlin, Germany
June 2007 - Brussels, Belgium
Oct 2007 - Luxembourg
Nov 2007 - Paris - France, Rome - Italy, Vienna - Austria. Also halted in Zurich, Switzerland
Aug 2008 - Singapore
Oct 2008 - Shanghai, China and Hongkong.
These are the places visited till date. Look fwd to explore more countries in the future. Btw, to answer my friend's Q, I have visited 15 countries till date. Still pending in my wishlist are US, Dubai, Japan and Australia.