Mini Wedding

Its been a while, since I’ve moved to Bangalore…oops Bengaluru. The advantage of staying here is close proximity to relative’s place and getting invited for each and every function that happens at anyone’s place. In about 2 months time, we’ve got an opportunity to attend atleast 4-5 such functions – naming ceremony, cradle ceremony, small puja, lunch party, engagements, weddings and more. I am not pro attending such events as most of the conversations revolve around common topics – gossip, boasting of their children’s achievements, foreign trips, money spending power. But the advantage is you can catch up with a lot of people at one place and get updated about a lot of things.

Recently,I got to attend an engagement party that was almost like a wedding reception. There were atleast 300 people who attended the event and most of them seem to be proudly showing off their valuable assets – hitech gadgets, cars, clothes, shoes, bouquets etc. I could over hear people talking about many things with appreciation - guy's sherwani worth 10K, diamond earrings, studded slippers, sarees bought at x,y,z place etc. This made me wonder again – Are our Indian weddings are based on pomp and show? The more money spent, the better. . There are many people who barely earn enough to have 2 proper meals a day and there are others who blow up so much money for a small function - what do they achieve by doing this?
I can never understand this logic

I remembered a friend’s wedding that I attended in Amsterdam,Europe. It was so much different and I thoroughly enjoyed being a part of the ceremony.. Nancy and Paul - I'm remembering you guys and hope to meet up sometime in the future.

MCC (Malnad Cuisine and Culture)

This Oct, my brother-in-law got married in coastal Karnataka, place called Kumta that is close to Gokarna and Murudeshwar. It was a welcome break for both of us to get rid of busy schedules for atleast a week.
The girl’s family had organized a Yakshagaana show the previous evening for all of us. The hall was completely packed with people and I was watching the show for the first time in my life. It was abt “Jambhavati Kalyana”, how Krishna loses Shamantaka mani and goes in search of it and encounters “Jaambhavanta”, teaches him a lesson while recovering the Mani and end up getting married to his daughter, Jambhavati. Three people were stationed on the stage – one for singing and explaining, one for beating drums for female character and one beating the drum for male character. The beat used for female characters is very gentle, slow and mild while the beats used for men are more loud and fast. Eyes are the most important feature for describing various emotions and the artists gave full justice to the characters they portrayed using the right expressions.

It was worth watching each and every move displayed. It was much more entertaining than watching any bollywood movie. I sincerely appreciate the talent of these people and I hope to get more chance to see such kind of programmes.
Another unforgettable thing abt this wedding would be the food prepared at the groom’s place during reception. The entire food was prepared using firewood in a traditional way and I must say that the taste of the food is definitely tastier, than the food prepared using LPG. Being a flavourist, I can vouch for it and can give a detailed explanation to it.
Some of the delicacies from this region includes – an appetizer prepared using buttermilk, with tempering of cumin seeds and ajwain leaves, mango pickle (prepared using small whole green mangoes), kashaaya ( prepared by boiling coriander seeds, cumin powder with water and jaggery and added milk before serving) – truly gives a refreshing experience, green mango rasam and saasve – prepared using grated cucumber, coconut and yoghurt and tempered with mustard seeds and red chilli are just a few examples.
After enjoying all desi cuisines and culture, I had to pack off immediately to go to Shanghai – to experience a totally different culture and cuisine.. I will soon find time to update the blog.

Just another wedding

Yesterday was 10th Oct 2007. According to Chinese tradition, 10/10 is a good date to get married. I was invited to attend a wedding in the Netherlands at a place called Purmerend, about 15 kms from Amsterdam. It was about 45 minutes drive from our place, Hilversum.
This wedding was a special one cos, I have known this Chinese girl since March 2006, ever since our training has started and the guy is a Dutch and has been working in our company for more than 15 years. There is an age gap of almost 16 years between the two, but as the saying goes – Love has no barrier for age and boundary. I also believe that our company is indeed a Global company and lot of people have made up their personal and professional life successful after working here.

I was excited abt attending the wedding, as I was curious to know more about weddings in Dutch Culture. It was a small gathering of about 30 – 40 people. We all had to be present at the Town Hall centre (shown in the pic) at 2.30pm. Each one of us had worn a traditional dress. The Japanese girl wore a kimono – blue colour with an off white (so called belt), traditional bag, white socks and a Hawaii like slippers (no kidding!!) I had no idea how difficult it was to wear a kimono, until I saw her running through the pages of a book guiding her at every step, on how to wear it properly!! Phew, and I always thought wearing a saree was a challenging affair. I just managed to wear a Salwar Kameez with little embroidery and some chamki work here and there. The Indonesian girl wore a Sarong – it’s a wrap around kind of silk skirt with a long top. She had managed to get a neat makeup and hair done in such a way that, she was looking more dressed up that the bride herself.

At 2.30 pm, soon after the bride and groom entered the hall, the door was closed and nobody was allowed the enter the hall till the marriage ceremony was completed. The chair person was a Dutch person (called member of Jury) – he looked more like a priest in the church. He explained in brief abt how girl met boy in Bangkok, spent some time in Shanghai and Naarden and then finally decided to get married in Antwerp, after staying in room number 1010 in a hotel…… That’s the reason; they chose to get married on 10th Oct. After exchanging rings and kissing ceremony, they were declared man and wife. There were 4 witnesses from each side and 2 kids who had to sign in legal documents 8 times and after this the ceremony was completed. The chair person handed over the legal documents, the pen used to sign the certificate and also a personal greeting card.

We all then walked down the street to a place called Bonte koe. This is a small Café that was blocked for the entire evening to celebrate the wedding ceremony. They served us light snacks and drinks, followed by cutting of wedding cake and of course relishing them…. The cake was loaded with fresh fruits – grapes, pear, apple, pineapple, whipped cream (double layered with fruits and nuts inside), topped with roasted hazelnut and almonds and small flowers of marzipan. One piece of cake was almost equal to a 2 course lunch.

After socializing with the people present in the café, it was dinner time at 5.00 pm. They served Chinese food for all. What made me happy was that they had remembered to order special Vegetarian food for me, so that I will not end up eating like a squirrel. By 8.30, we were ready to drive back home after wishing the couple a happy married life.

Indian marriages are very much about pomp and show. It’s a big family get together, with a lot of rituals and ceremonies. A ritual and puja for every thing to do – staring from the time to see the girl / boy (raahu kaala etc), engagement date and time, marriage date and time, gruhapravesha of the girl to her husband’s house and what not!! In the end it’s an exhaustive exercise for the ones getting married and more draining for the wedding organizers in the family.

I don’t know which is a better one – the elaborative and lavish one or the sweet and simple one. What matters most is how two people learn to live together by ignoring the negatives and appreciating the positives and adjusting themselves to each other’s family to lead a happy and successful life…